Step into the dumpster fire brilliance of Jonnie Fazoolie's life—a fever dream blend of Silicon Valley delusion, influencer vanity, and pure unfiltered bullshit.
In this “warm up” read from his new sci-fi novel Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, host Mookie Spitz guides you through the carnage of today's audio book reading, where we meet Jonnie in all his gaudy, self-destructive glory.
Our Hero is a magnet for money and disaster. Picture a tall and skinny, Armani-clad carnival barker with a mouth that never stops pitching: he suckers investors into financing ludicrous products — think biodegradable sex toys and dumb-as-rocks AI assistants — only to watch every venture implode. Meanwhile, he livestreams his latest half-baked stunts to a rabid online audience that can’t decide whether to cancel him or double-tap in awe.
Jonnie’s penthouse looks like a hoarder’s wet dream, complete with a cat he's allergic to and vintage furniture bordering on garbage, with an industrial alarm soundtrack that only stops when Jonnie shoots it with a plastic gun. Enter Penny Pitz, a sharp journalist who’s walked into this warped funhouse expecting a compelling "thrillionaire" interview until quickly realizing she’s interviewing the human embodiment of chaos.
Their exchanges are a twisted dance of sneers, misunderstandings, and bizarre flirtations — set against a panoramic Chicago skyline that feels one stiff breeze away from swallowing them both, or hurling them into their own libidious oblivon.
Meet Fazoolie, the ultimate ADHD anti-hero for an era obsessed with spectacle over substance — part Nietzsche-quoting fool, part TikTok stunt clown, and wholly oblivious to how close he is to losing everything to the IRS, creditors, loan sharks, and divorce attorneys... And yet he keeps rolling, because in his warped mind, if you’re not having fun fleecing people, what’s the point?
This episode sets the stage for a sharp, satirical, and frequently jaw-dropping story about startup grift, influencer culture, and how our collective attention deficit lets hucksters like Jonnie thrive. Plug in, brace yourself, and stay tuned — tomorrow it’s “Interview with a View,” and trust me, it only gets weirder from here.
The Novel
Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine
First Reading
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